The Narcissistic Self-Voyeur

2008-01-17T17:43:00.000+08:00

i have moved.

http://whenbiziblogs.blogspot.com

meet up with kes and zhiyong

2007-12-16T08:20:00.000+08:00

its such a terrible feeling when it seems like my friends are enjoying their holidays to their fullest while i sap around and measure the rate my leg hair grow, which is yet another reason for my misery because i have to veet like every 10 days, which is super troublesome and i completely hate the stupid in-shower veet because its not as thorough as the normal one. bah! i should just wait for money to fall from the sky and then go for the permanent hair removal thingy.

then again, if money did fall from the sky, i think i'll just spend all of it in the ridiculously alluring lv/chanel/fendi/ysl boutiques along orchard road. gheesh.. -_-"

anyhow.. i was recounting the fates of my lucky arsehole friends who are in australia, taiwan, hongkong, and who are planning their irritating (day) trips to bintan, jb, genting and bkk, and sulking my face green, complaining about not even bringing me shopping, when my darling boyfriend asked me if i would like to watch a movie.

yala.. watch movie only happy already.

so i proceeded to ask kes if she and zhiyong had plans for the night, and she said they were planning to catch warlords. and raymond tan, the once upon a time andy lau fan (he claims to be), jumped at the opportunity to catch something he was interested in, rather than have me insist we watch the enchanted, to which he has dodged out of since it started showing like damn long ago. humph!

was intending to catch the one at 2225 but because tickets were out, and ray and zhiyong, being the uncle they are and not wanting to waste the trip to town (we were at ps by the way), we ended up having to wait till 0120, which is the next available timing.

and so we sat at the ps food court, after having prata supper at this nearby place, waiting for stars to drop and christmas to come.

oh yes. we were there until the lights went out. and kes was whining about zhiyong playing on his psp and not attending to her, and whining about ray and i playing on our ds-es and not attending to her, when ray decided to be irritating to me instead and lent her his ds.

i think i might have influenced yet another friend to get a ds, especially after i mentioned ah fang has one too.. ^^

ah fang when you come back i pass you the games k? and then we can multi-player. and i wont have to keep winning at those IQ games because i only get to play with ray. *yay*

oh.. i got a hair cut the other day, and i quite like it, other than its making me look stupid when i wake up in the morning. kes's bangs are nice too. she likes that she no longer have to draw brows, and she proudly showed me her undrawn brows underneath that thick bangs. -_-"

and ya, ray's new super expensive phone has super power flash. the new super expensive phone that sucked out his funds for my christmas present. and i'm still thinking about whether or not to get him his. think i will. even though he's definitely not getting me anything, and even though i'm totally broke. i'm such a nice girlfriend.

warlords was nice. takeshi kaneshiro damn shuai. i think i might have orgasmed had it not been ray who was sitting beside me holding my hand, and kes, who was oohing and uhing audibly on my other side. anyways, watch the show and tell me what you think about it. its like the more i think about it, the more i dont know what to think about it, and its driving me nuts because kes and ray like dont get what i was trying to say.

oh, star dust was damn nice. i only just watched the show. ^^

and before i flutter off to dreamland, just in case ah fang has not watched it..

maybe its because i was watching with ray when i watched it for the first time, and he kept saying how much it feels uncomfortable, the way he sings. but watching it again now made me feel the way i felt when ah fang and i tuned in to 大小爱吃 back in the taipei teacher's hostel. it omg-ed the hair out of my pores.

i miss my baby

2007-12-13T17:21:00.000+08:00

i wonder what's come into me these days. i'm missing that obnoxiously irritating raymond tan more than i have ever imagined i would. its like the more i see of him, the more i miss him.

and i hate it.

i completely hate it. i completely hate being that love-struck puppy that i've become the past few weeks. i completely hate this incredibly vulnerable feeling that puts me at a position where i sit by the pathetically falling apart phone, waiting and hoping ray would call soon.

but of cuz ray being ray, makes it alot better by calling often enough for me to not sink into that depressive mood a year and a half ago.

so it is. with a terribly aching back and completely sore feet that i sit on my comfortable and slightly smelly bed complaining about what a bore my life has become after the end of the exams. i'm rather wishing it was still exam period. i'm rather missing that hype brought about by the stress of exams. the hype that is so missing from my ridiculously monotonous life. and i'm supposed to be having the best time of my life now at 21, no?

gosh. if this was the best time of my life indeed, i might as well end the tedium of this colourless existence.

pump some life into my being, wont you?!

it doesnt help that raymond tan, the impressionable 25 year old is getting involved into things that he is not sure of and is asking me for my two cents worth, to my immense exasperation. i dont want to be your mother. i want to be the pathetic, loserish, dependent, meowish girlfriend who cannot stand without holding on to you for support.

in short, i want to be stupid. stupid people really have got it better dont they? for one, they dont realise they're stupid. just like the ugly and/or the irritating never realise their abhorrence.

and it doesnt help that me with my terribly aching back and completely sore feet has to put on a straight, delightful face to daddy's queries as to where i have been the entire day. 'daddy, i have been working, because i feel bad squandering the money you earn from waking up at 5am every morning, at which time, i have been up watching pathetic dvds on my laptop, pretending that my heart does not ache from hearing you wake up so early in the morning, pretending to be asleep.'

but of course i didnt say that. but of course i put up that half-hearted plastic smile and waved my way through his, i hate to say this, irritating questions.

it is with guilt that i slouch here over my old and slowing laptop, hearing didi answer daddy's harmless questions in a way that completely invites chiding.

and so it is with guilt and the utmost irritation (because raymond tan is rambling on non-stop and rambling nonsense non-stop) that i end my entry and dwelve into harry potter and the half-blood prince for the thousandth time. will somebody buy me the first 5 books. i want the adult cover. and i want hard cover. thanks.

tui-ed

2007-12-06T17:22:00.000+08:00

after switching off the lights in the car (i think we were looking for baby's phone),

my stupid boyfriend (msbf): dear 这样看很美 leh..

*on lights again*

msbf: 哦! 圆圆..

-_-"

那个越吃越胖的臭男人竟然好意思说我圆！ i shall embark on a plan to get him to become 1000000000 times his current size now. stupid raymond tan. humph!!

(i know its not the first time. but the tui-ness is still there no matter how many times he does it.)

衣服本来，刚刚好

2007-11-27T17:24:00.000+08:00

:( i dun like it when you wake up in the middle of the night to hug me anymore. in fact, i dun like it when u hug me at all. bleh.

anyways, after looking for years, i finally found the cantonese version. still not the original one that i wanted though. :(

and just to refresh ur memory.. ^^

衣服本来，刚刚好
怎么现在扣不上？（为什么？）

桌子椅子，那么小
小房门也钻不了（味道好）

成长成长我已成长
比比看谁比谁高

司各脱民鱼肝油陪伴我一起长大陪伴我一起长大

bleh. ^^

i should be studying. i've got 2 papers tomorrow, and another paper the day after. and i've only finished studying one!! i should be studying instead of downloading britney spears songs. -_-"

"fell in love with you and everything that you are
nothing i can do i'm really crazy about you.."

pictures.

2007-11-21T17:25:00.000+08:00

ah fang. this is the first picture i took of you, and lian mei mei's classic sausage lips.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

actually, i think.. the pictures were not taken by me. but to think i was going to delete them the time i deleted many many pics to make space for wow. hehe.

and oh.. next year we try again okie?

maybe we'll bump into suting and daxiong again. ^^

er honey, i think daniel's hair look much better now.

and these were many many years ago.

when ur face was rounder and i had horrible fashion sense.

and when my hair was curly, and i was fat.

that's the first and last time i'll perm my hair.

i was damn fucking high when these were taken. no thanks to finishing kes's bourbon coke in one fucking gulp, just so we could leave arena. -_-"

yes la. i lousy. but how come ah fang look more seh than me de? kekekes.

i should be studying. maybe we could go here to study..

where the chairs were nice, the place was cosy, and drinks were expensive. oh. the drinks were expensive. maybe we shouldnt go there then. -_-"

i should be studying. ah fang, you should be studying too.

9 months on..

2007-11-07T17:27:00.000+08:00

that silly raymond tan got me jay's album for our 9th monthsary. and i'm ridiculously happy because i 千交代万交代 him to not get me anything.

so now i have to force myself to not look at it cuz i have that stupid debate presentation to finish. and i'm only done with the introduction, the outline and a whole chuck of tabbed websites that hopefully have something relevant for me to quote. :(

'xxx will always love baby bi bu de. muacks. dear, i (will) love u alot, my whole life.'

(xxx is the obscene nickname that silly ray got for himself. its fucking funny and if u asked me, i might tell u.)

zouk.

2007-09-26T17:28:00.000+08:00

zouk is a place for foreigners to hook up with 'easy' girls. we witnessed one ang moh dancing up to a very korean-looking girl, who didnt mind his advances. half an hour later, they were smooching all over and his sweat was dripping dripping dripping, and those around them were all staring dumbfoundedly at them.

zouk is a place for girls to have fun or to get irritated.

zouk is a place for macho guys to offer their protection to helpless girls. it was nice to know that someone is trying to make ur time a little more enjoyable, even though he may be quite helpless about it. i dun even know his name. in fact, i dun remember what he looks like.

zouk is a place for couples to hug and kiss. for the boyfriend to look powerlessly at the annoyed girlfriend who is being knocked into, pushed against and (their feet) stepped onto.

zouk is also an extremely scenic place for our uranian counterparts to FUCKING CONTINUOUSLY take picture take picture take picture. and its not the 'faster, we take one picture together' kind. its the 'take this take that, take u, u, u and u and then take me, take me and u, take me and u and u, take everybody together, take the crowd, take the screen, take the floor, take the podium, take the dj. bad take, take again and again and again and again. take take take take take, take ur balls and step on the floor la.

i honestly tried to have fun despite being immensely, terribly, completely, overwhelmingly irritated. zouk should not be a place for wanton girls to get drunk and lose their pathetic semblance of civility and self respect. mambo nights ought to be and was fun.

my legs are aching. my eyes are closing. my hair and the wow patch updater seems to have an unspoken agreement to keep me up as long as possible by going about their drying and downloading at a snail pace.

i miss my boyfriend suddenly. wednesday nights are meant for cuddling up to my darling baby dear.

wow

2007-09-21T17:29:00.000+08:00

despite ah fang's cautionary advice, i went ahead and spent $115 on getting a wow account to play with ray. (cuz he's on the US server and the very pweety blood elf character that i am adament on getting is only available on the very expensive expansion pack.) i'm such a good girlfriend.. that boyfriend better start to love me more now that i've spent $115 on getting something that i dun exceptionally like, and will potentially cost me even more of my sleep and reading time. as it is i have had massive eyebags for the past 2 days because of it. oh well, i'm a good girlfriend.

but my boyfriend is great too. he offered to pay for it without knowing that he doesnt have enough money left. thank goodness his girlfriend has a better grasp of her finances than him..

there! ^^

i wonder how long my excitement (plus the heartache of parting with $115) and my immense love for darling ray baby (uh-hem) will sustain my interest in this.

7 months on..

2007-09-06T17:31:00.000+08:00

6 months ago,

"i'm really wishing there were 48 hours a day. because i need more time to hug my darling boyfriend. oh, and i didnt mention darling dear got me this for our first monthsary."

5 months ago,

ah bao and me went to dine at ajisen (my ah bao loves ajisen.) the other day to celebrate our 2nd monthsary.

4 months ago,
"

'love you 2 months like 2 years like 20 years like 200 years'
ray said that to me last month.

'love you 3 months like the 3rd kiss like the 3rd hug 3 lifetimes over.
bizi is saying that this month."

3 months ago,

"boyfriend: 死了.. 我越来越 cute 了.. 本来没有这么 cute 的.. 都是 ah bi bu 害的..

my boyfriend is getting cuter day after day. and i am getting fatter week after week. i is 白白胖胖 already lor."

2 months ago,

"it is now 5 months into the relationship with my bulliable ah bu bao, who's endearing as ever. ^^"

1 month ago,

today,

"very ba ba bi bu bu bi bi de happy 7th month anniversary dear. muacks x 1 million times"

my boyfriend is still as irritatingly cute as ever. ^^
its been the happiest 7 months of my life, and i kinda mean it. most boyfriends fall out of that sweet lovey dovey thing way before this, and we (okie, just him) are still as sweet as ever.

i am loved.

during intro to cybercrime lecture

2007-09-03T17:32:00.000+08:00

last wednesday, ah fang and i got very excited watching someone ~~sitting in front of us during lecture~~ play claxor paint ball. and today,

ah fang, can complete one leh!

i have been playing on and off for a few days now. while waiting for my page to load, while doing my readings, while watching tv blar blar.. i thought this would be a nice enough game to keep me busy while i have relatively nothing to do, but, i've completed it already. :(

anyways, during the first lecture, i was busy reading my developmental psych text and eating.
during the second lecture, i was busy with

and eating.
during the third lecture,

so yes, i was telling ah fang next lecture, she can take a picture me playing claxor paint ball next lecture.. but but but! i completed the game already!!

intro to cybercrime is horrendously boring. there are no tutorials, no projects, no final exam. there will be 2 mcq quizes though. and since i'm no paying attention at all, i wonder how i'll socre for this module..

-_-"

i feel so dead..

i miss my boyfriend . . .

2007-08-31T18:38:00.000+08:00

i miss my boyfriend..

and his kisses . . .

hot days are a killer

2007-08-31T00:30:00.000+08:00

when the weather is hot, humid, sticky and heavy, there is a significant drop in a person's information processing capacity.

today has been a hot day. and my 2 hour break between lectures that was originally intended for readings has evaporated much as the condensed water droplets on the slightly overpriced cup of coco cabana have.

hot and humid days also seem to have this ability to suck out whatever little creativity i had. so yes, this entry is purely for the simple fact that bizi wants to complain about the unbearable weather and to bask in the air conditioned comforts of the lab in as7.

so i started my day stranded at kent ridge hall when the inconsiderate cab driver stormed off with a 'i dunno where u want to go. we already in nus what.' causing me to painstakingly hike my way up to the newly furnished as4 basement for my first lesson, all under the unforgiving rays of the sweltering hot noon sun.

tell me, why do i so feel as though my day is dragging through eternity?

thankfully, emotions lecture, which is starting in another 15 minutes, is more or less my most interesting module, with a highly engaging lecturer, whose over-enthusiastic pacing back and forth during tutorial this morning made me somewhat nauseous. of course this could simply be attributed to my having trekked all the way to the tutorial room from a yuckily distant krh.

and i just realise that i have an assignment for the developmental psych tutorial due on sunday afternoon. obviously it doesnt help that i have not read, or even printed the stupid articles, which are both 20 odd pages long?

and i have mahjong on saturday night (which is tomorrow) after work. tuition has been cancelled for the last 2 weeks because they wanted a break after the exams, and i have this nagging feeling that i probably wont be seeing my very cute korean kids, who commented that ray looks better with specs, again. especially since their mother has this knack of assuming i'm very free by requesting for tuition one day in advance.

so yes, its now 4 minutes to the start of the lecture and i'm still trying to buy time by convincing myself that i have yet to end of this entry nicely. (failure to end of an entry nicely was the underlying reason i took down that last one.)

but you know, the humid weather has apparently devoid me of the ability to write a convincingly smooth conclusion to this entry. so i'm just going to drag my feet to the lt.

my wonderful semester 5 timetable

2007-08-24T05:12:00.000+08:00

in case you havent heard, i have the worst possible three day week. now look,

honestly, i dun even want to look at this thing. how completely irritating can it be that i have a SIX hour break on even wednesdays. what a complete waste of time since i could easily have been working. urgh!!

every semester, i will convince myself that having breaks in between classes provides me with the time to do my readings. in fact, i was so convinced that last semester, i deliberately incorporated a few 2 hour breaks into my timetable just so i could complete my readings.

well, as usual, i end up ponning either the earlier lesson or the later one. or worse, both. let's just hope this semester i'll really use that time to do my readings, which has already collapsed, and its only week 2, into this huge and messy heap by the table.

my life is so wonderful.

black spider

2007-08-20T19:23:00.000+08:00

because ah fang said she didnt see this when she was searching, i'll post it up..

that big mouth ugly guy is yang zong wei, who i dun like.
that big hair cute guy is xiao jing teng, who i completely adore, and whom i wasted much of my taiwan trip dreaming of.

his 'ooh', 'uuh' sound damn wooo!! and that very high pitched voice in the video is, i suspect, his voice. see this,

and u really need to see his interviews and hear him talk before u realise he's really really so damn freaking cute.

i went to buy the stupid ah mei cd because there's a song that features him. and its very very very disappointing. knn, cheat my money. :(

the only thing that can cheer me up is probably me getting all my tutorials, which is highly unlikely since stupid nus goes by ALPHABETICAL order, according to wenjie.

:(

i miss my boyfriend . . .

2007-08-17T17:42:00.000+08:00

i miss my boyfriend..

and his kisses . . .

3-day week.

2007-08-13T23:26:00.000+08:00

honestly, i'm ultra disgusted that 'my boyfriend is cute' has become somewhat like a theme in my blog. every freaking entry is about how cute ray is. i'm not saying he isnt, but i'm beginning to think that his cuteness is for me and me alone. which is why, i decided to stop blogging for awhile.

plus the fact that i've been busy with work and tuition. and that taiwan was a complete bore. the only highlight of the trip was babe and i getting goosebumps watching our beloved black spider sing on tv, and we spent the next few nights scanning through the hundred channels for his appearance. if not for the fact that the 2 of us had a combine asset of like S$50, we would have gone to the pub he was performing.

poor people have sucky lives and suckier holidays. i'm regretting not having bought alot of things.

actually, i was planning to start a new blog from scratch, with a new, less colourful - read: emo bitch, blogskin and all. but i'm lazy, and i'm not about to settle for the boring templates that blogspot has. actually, they're not that boring. perhaps i should give it a try, when i'm feeling less lazy.

anyways, u should see this,

wahaha! hopefully, i get all my tutorial slots. 6 modules and 3-day week. how shiok can life get. how nua can i get. i better stop showing off just in case i tio bao yin and never get my tutorials.

and curse cors. curse cors. curse cors.

i'm going to talk to ray now. until i have chosen my new blogskin. or if i kena 5-day week. i dun think i will update anytime soon.

back

2007-07-31T18:12:00.000+08:00

back and i have nothing to blog about. because it had been purely a shopping trip, and i didnt even buy much. that plus the organisers were, inexperienced. (the best possible way i could put it. really.)

oh. i finished one box of tai yang bin all on my own already. i seriously think i will end up finishing the rest. and i didnt get enough yi du zhan for that crazy boy, who supped it up in 2 nights. :(

i'm going to take down this blog soon. until my life slips out of its mediocre nonsense. you should not be expecting to see 'ah bu bao is cute' when i next blog again. he's still cute as ever though.

i want

2007-07-20T01:40:00.000+08:00

dear dear,

i want

^^

*will update when i'm back from tw.

for you..

2007-07-15T22:23:00.000+08:00

everytime we quarrel, i spend.

my bank account is back to 2 digit status now after splurging unnecessarily on 3 new bras. -_-"

tamade

ray loves me, despite all my shortcomings, all the nonsense that i have had him put up with. sometimes, i wonder how long this novelty can last. sometimes, i wonder if i will start looking beyond the funny faces that ray makes and realise that its nowhere near what i'm looking for. i see the effort that my boyfriend has been putting in to make this work. it makes me sad seeing as he's trying so hard and i'm just feeling unsatisfied and unhappy all the time.

perhaps, i should learn to love myself and love him too. for him at least.

harry potter and the order of the phoenix.

2007-07-14T03:21:00.000+08:00

i left my phone in my boyfriend's car. -_-"

as much as i feel naked without my phone, completely out of touch and unable to complain to anybody at all about how immensely unsatisfied with the new harry potter movie i am, it is my darling ah bu bao who has most to suffer for my carelessness.

the poor boy has to bring my phone over first thing in the morning. on his way to work. (its actually off the way.)

hees. ^^

so i've been to watched harry potter. after the whole freaking world has watched and has commented about how many details they've had to leave out.

but to tell the truth, i'm really not as disappointed as i thought i would be. afterall, it is my least favourite book. and after goblet of fire, one learns to prepare oneself for all the omittings. :(

and oh, of cuz it helps that my favourite scene is still there. the one with the weasley twins flying off into the sunset, while a completely disheleved dolores umbridge look on amidst the fireworks in the background.

*shrugs* oh well.. i shall not go think about all those unmentioned details. cant believe how poor winky got eliminated. bah!!

went mos-ing with babes on ladies night. and as much as i'm sick and tired of mambo, i am just going to go to zouk for the rest of my life. if only they had bigger nicer and shioker restrooms.

shall go clubbing again next week. i'm serious. for the sake of yujin's teddy bear. kk? let's go to butter factory. or st james. ^^

i'm so tempted to cancel tuition tomoro morning. but my phone is not with me now. damn.

BAH!!

hais

2007-07-10T00:22:00.000+08:00

so. dreading. it.

the show off

2007-07-06T11:39:00.000+08:00

ah fang the bloody show off, who's been clubbing weekly, during which poor me stayed at home watching my lost, prison break and desperate housewives episodes on dvd cuz i'm always busy when they get aired on tv, is now complaining that she has no life.

i got life, eh?

:(

blehs.

and anyways, i am not going to take non-examinable modules cuz workload is crazy de. mcq exams also mean workload is crazy de. projects, term paper, assignments and argh! headache. i'll go look for open book modules. when u can finish fast, u have alot of time to refer. then again, when i finish fast, i'll just leave early. gheesh, i'm such a complacent student. damn! -_-"

it is now 5 months into the relationship with my bulliable ah bu bao, who's endearing as ever. ^^

i bully him

2007-07-02T11:49:00.000+08:00

over breakfast this morning, my mother said,

'现在这个男朋友好像不错 hor? 还会陪你上电梯的..'

and i replied,

'对 lor.. 他每次都被我欺负的.'

ray is such a nice boyfriend. ^^

i completely cannot stand it, you know? that he has to give this very 可怜 look in so many of our pictures.

completely irrelevant, but just as cute..

i have to go already. i am very busy, you know?

oh, and did i remember to mention that despite my immense dislike for the cartoon series and subsequent ignorance of the characters, the movie is damn nice de. go watch transformers okie? ^^

ps. i totally cant differentiate between the decepticons and the autobots. -_-"

public display of affection

2007-07-01T22:55:00.000+08:00

this is my boyfriend, who is also known as the driver, as well as the clothes rack, and the manservant.

and here he is, holding on to my bag, our stash of cheap vcds from ts, my watsons toiletries. and you cant see it, but he's holding this very yucky bottle of pokka's crysanthemum tea, which i forced him to buy cuz i was thirsty. all that and he has to manually lock his door cuz the thing is not working properly.

and me? i had my arms folded in impatience that he's taking such a long time.

say hi to miss spoilt bitch.

of cuz i am not serious, i am very nice one what. obviously i didnt have my arms folded in impatience. i was taking a picture to show you how very skinny my ah bu bao is, squeezing through that tiny gap and all. and then i had to see that he was holding on to all of my stuff and i had simply trotted out empty-handed.

as bad as i was feeling at having been mistreating my darling boyfriend the way i did, i cant help but smile at how that silly boy spoils me the way he does.

my boyfriend loves me. and i love him too. ^^

and here is he again, kissing me goodbye because i have to go to work. darn solmart, eat up my time with my darling ah bu bao. :(

and he is damn cute de because he is super paisae to pdf in public. obviously that includes kissing. so i have to persuade him for a damn long time before he kisses me goodbye. now you know why i'm always late even though i said i was reaching.

okie. and because i keep wanting to take picture too. ^^

my boyfriend is so ridiculously cute. blehs.

babe said that she feels bad for ah bu bao whenever i say that he's cute in my blog. but my boyfriend is cute what. maybe in an irritating way sometimes. but he is still damn cute de lor. ^^

see that kanasai cutie forced me to mms this to babe this afternoon cuz he thinks he looks damn shuai just because he was wearing contacts and he purposely had to show off the watch that his sister bought him too.

i, on the other hand, prefers him with his goofy specs cuz i totally hate his feng yan.

i am such a pda-loving bitch.

oh, and before i go,

babe and i bought one each for our taiwan trip. ^^

no time.

2007-06-28T01:14:00.000+08:00

i have completely buried myself in work. heavily splurging my time away in solmart and the occasional tuition. wateva remaining is to be shared among my ah bu bao, the little bundle of joy (i refuse to believe he is 3 and running faster than i am and tearing the house down) and my other commitments (which include my very very very sacred mahjong, clubbing and ktv sessions).

i wish i had more time to meet up with u all.
i wish i had more time to un-puff my puffy eyes.
i wish i had more time to learn blading.
i wish i had more time to revise for my korean class.

i wish i could just cuddle and snuggle and strangle ah bu bao to death. i am such a 重色轻友 bitch. hais. if only ah bu bao was not as cute as he is. its all his fault.

ps. d cup is . . . erm . . . erm . . . erm . . .

go go power rangers!!

2007-06-26T22:28:00.000+08:00

OMFG!!

you never watch meh? dont bluff.

hugs

2007-06-25T00:45:00.000+08:00

happy birthday my darling dear. (yikes. one day late.)

and spoilt me had to ruin dear's birthday dinner get-together because of a soiled dress. :( as much as i felt bad during the entire time, i just wasnt motivated enough to unblacked my face. and yes, the after guilt is terrible.

but oh well, i'm still glad i had a great time singing with babe and kes (and the boyfriends). its nice to have someone to hug and u see others hugging.

ah fang has her weilian.
kes has her zhiyong.
i have my ah bu bao.

and i do know i kinda hogged the mike for too long, even when my voice has started to crack. -_-" please dont condemn me from future ktv sessions. ^^

my happy fruit.

2007-06-20T00:19:00.000+08:00

sometimes, i really think ray is god sent. ^^

for one, i cannot bring myself to believe that he has never lost his temper on me, ever. despite all the abuse that i hurl at him, he has always maintained his sweetness, lovingness and that unbearable goofiness which will eventually eat my unhappiness away.

i love it that my boyfriend makes the effort to pick me up from work as often as he does.

i love it that my boyfriend calls me while i'm on my way home and keeps me company throughout the entire journey.

i love it that my boyfriend calls me every night.

i love it that my boyfriend doesnt mind going into orchard, again, incurring the stupidly ridiculous erp charges and all those exorbitant parking fees. and he rarely complains. (other than the occasional whine.)

i love it that my boyfriend no longer objects to my very very high propensity to publicly display my affections for him, especially on escalators, in queue lines and at the traffic light. he has simply given up. ^^

i love my boyfriend's perky little bouncy butt. i dun mind being labelled a 'pervert' for all the smacking that his plbb has received thus far. sometimes, i cant help it. it is so bouncy and so nice to grab. then again, you wouldnt know since i'm the only one who has access. ^^

i love it that my boyfriend loves my virtually non-existent butt.

i love it that my boyfriend looks at me in disgust when my cleavage starts showing.

i love it that my boyfriend uses that same tone that my dad use on me whenever i wear that ridiculously short skirt, which is now condemned for good.

i love it that my boyfriend is still making funny faces to make me laugh while he goes down in the lift.

i love it that my boyfriend carries my bags for me, just because i'm lazy.

i love it that i can bully my boyfriend, and he lets me.
me: dear 你每次被我 bully hor?
him: yalor.
me: then 你很可怜 hor?
him: har nor.
me: then 你会不会讨厌我? 因为我 bully 你?
him: 不会 la..
me: then 就是你很喜欢我 bully 你 la? then 我要继续 bully 你了 huh?
him: -_-"
me: heehee. 我现在在 bully 你 leh.
him: . . .
ah fang say i is super 欠打的..

i love it that when i think about my boyfriend, i'm smiling away and laughing like a nutcrack. ^^

connie

2007-06-19T00:50:00.000+08:00

i cried watching this. you cannot believe how absolutely heartwarming it is.
she's almost like a little fairy. ^^

i hope my daughter can sing this well.

i finally blog.

2007-06-17T02:15:00.000+08:00

exactly wat is wrong with people's apparent inability to put things back where they took them. i am seriously peeved with all those smart ass window shoppers who have this insanely high tendency to try on every freaking tester and then proceed to place them somewhere other than their original places. like we're supposed to pick up after them. if only their mothers had whispered connivingly behind their ears to 'put things back where u took them' like mine had. how completely irresponsible!

so there. i have been up to my neck putting up with what have you nots from work. and i have been so upset and traumatised by their complete lack of courtesy that i havent been able to blog at all. just the other day, poor babe actually had to tell off a couple of ill-bred girls to go play elsewhere before they finally picked up their mess and left, together with their painted fingernails, all 10 fingernails, all 10 different colours, all 10 testers.

now tell me, what is the problem with today's youths?!

and u dun have to come pointing ur finger at me, accusing me of letting this blog rot. if i weren't as nice as i am, i would have goggled for a huge ass spider web picture and posted it here, just for the sake of illustrating that i know this page is rotting.

u do not have to remind me too that i have yet to blog about how terribly disappointing my birthday was. in fact, there is nothing to blog about at all.

other than the fact that my korean aunties forced me to go around getting goodies from our shop. goodies, which i have been gorging myself with ever since ever and have long grown quite sick of.

there u have it. my complete stash of birthday korean snacks. there are actually some left overs from then.

oh, lwp also managed to get mr koh to sponsor my first birthday cake, which was as delicious as it was sinful.

and my sweet sweet babes got me these. ^^

boys are smelly!!

of cuz, since i havent blogged like for a whole millenia, u wouldnt have known about my insane infatuation with the crazy ass boys are smelly range of products that david and goliath came up with. it all started when i first set eyes on those magnet sets in nus co op a long time ago.

which ballooned into me spending $200 on 5 tees for ah bao bao and me from new urban male. all because i was too impatient to sit out a few weeks of waiting time if i joined a spree. (its at least 25% cheaper, u know. -_-")

there. we wore it on my birthday. ^^

(what an ugly picture.)

oh, and i havent mentioned how my little rascal sang me a birthday song when i woke up on my big day.

he seems all grown up already, what with didi's beanie and all.

oh yes. u would have known by now that ah bao bao got me a pink ds for my birthday, and i got him a blue one for his. and we're all stupefied by the egragrious elite beat. how monstrously irritating can it get seriously.

how wonderfully nice of me to be blogging right now. when i dun have time to go shopping for my boyfriend's birthday present, which is due in a week's time.

my very sweet and totally adorable boyfriend switched off the lights and walked into the room singing a birthday song, his face illuminated by the glistening lights from the candle flames atop my second and very small black forest. all at the exact moment when i was about to fall asleep from sheer disappointment at how my birthday is going to come so nondescriptly. and this very romantic and touching moment was somewhat downplayed by his mother's quizical amusement at the door. -_-

so yes, i am going to make his birthday a little more special than he did for mine. and then he's gonna go feeling guilty and then i can be mean. wahahahaha!

i am now going to go come up with plans for his upcoming birthday. and i shall do so by sleeping on it, literally. ^^

bu bi bu bao

2007-06-07T22:21:00.000+08:00

boyfriend: 死了.. 我越来越 cute 了.. 本来没有这么 cute 的.. 都是 ah bi bu 害的..
ah bi bu: -_-"

oh yes, ah bi bu happens to be the new name by which my boyfriend calls me. sounds gauchely like pi gu.. :(

my retaliation - ah bu bao.. to which i add, ah bu bao 不饱 hor? ah bu bao 不要抱我 hor? ah bu bao 不好的.. ah bu bao 是哭包..

my boyfriend is getting cuter day after day. and i am getting fatter week after week. i is 白白胖胖 already lor. :(

nintendo

2007-06-04T00:17:00.000+08:00

say hi.. ^^

where has it gone?

2007-05-28T00:57:00.000+08:00

i decided not to publish the blog that i had earlier written on my birthday. why? reading it bores the hell out of me.

i think witty jack came along the other night and claimed my wits to be his own. i'm so devoid of literary prowess that it completely disgusts me.

you should all go watch pirates of the carribean because it has been nice and it still is. and do remember to stay to the end because as with the previous installments, there is this little something at the end of the credits. ^^

my birthday has been disappointing. and you will find out why when i have the feel to tell.

birthdays

2007-05-25T22:53:00.001+08:00

3 years ago, my bestest friends in jc gave me a mini birthday bash in the canteen. together with the bash, ky and cyn got me the sweetest, nicest tee that they could have given me. and the year before, they had given me this anklet that i had super loved until i had to break it one day while i too chor-lor-ly took off my socks. (i still have the broken anklet in my jewellery box..)

2 years ago, jaysen gave me this peewee of a diamond ring for my birthday. in fact, its so minuscule that i dun even know where it is now. i might have thrown it away with the whole stash of old rings (from all the ex boyfriends).

a year ago, lim chieh sern brought me to genting. and although i kept complaining about how much i would have prefered a present, i'm grateful that he had given me something to remember a year on.

this year, we shall see.

i can make kimchi.

2007-05-24T22:22:00.000+08:00

kimchi girl says hi.. ^^

see! i can make kimchi okie. no joke!!

are u bored?

2007-05-19T23:18:00.000+08:00

remember this?

now, dun click play unless u are super duper wuper bored..

*kill me*

99 days

2007-05-16T22:35:00.000+08:00

ah bao bao came to fetch me home from work today. ^^

i was meaning to take a picture of the un-fogged lens on my specs because i had clearly paid the optometrist an extra $20 or $30 for the crazy 'non-fog' function. apparently i had been had of my money. and if u see that my lens are super clear in that picture its because that seemingly-cunning thing had the smarts to un-fog the moment i whipped out my phone.

oh.. and i just realised that its been 99 days since ah bao bao and i have been together. ^^

and yes, ah bao bao's changed for the worse already. :(

see,

ah bao bao has begun to recoil from my kisses!! i dun remember him doing that initially. maybe i should stop kissing him altogether. then he would know better than to cringe the way he does when i attempt to kiss him.

humph!!

and ya. no la, of cuz my darling has not crossed over to the dark side (light is where bizi is. ^^). my boyfriend say his ex girlfriends used to find him too sticky, and they used to ask, 'why do u have to keep holding my hand?'

HOW COME YOU NEVER HOLD MY HAND ONE AR? TAPPAI IS I HOLD UR HAND FIRST DE LOR.. HUMPH!!!

i'm going to go read my to kill a mockingbird already. blehs. ^^

$200

2007-05-15T21:02:00.000+08:00

ah ma has concurred with didi's pronouncement that bizi is a siao char bo.

why? because i have been laughing hysterically since i got my gst offset package letter. bizi is happy. she will have an extra $200 soon.

wahahahaha.

wahahahaha.

wahahahaha.

but no. like i am going to let $200 waver my stance on the stupid ministerial salary pay hike. humph!

anyways, here is my usually very shuai, but very vain didi.

he thinks he's a nurse just because he's wearing this very ugly hair band which i got for him from dodo club. yes. i purposedly chose the pink one. blehs.

and that's his signature chinese opera sideburn. lolx!!

its about 10 days to my birthday, and as the actual day looms nearer, i'm losing the zest for it. i think i'll end up going for dinner with my parents (we go to this thai shark fin place that i dun really like every year except last-when a particular someone brought me to genting.) on saturday. and i'll end up sleeping with darling the whole of sunday at his place since we're both broke (i am cuz i have to save up for his birthday. :( )

okies.. i gotta go watch my 9 pm show already. huang biren is very cute. kekekes. ^^

fatty me.

2007-05-15T00:16:00.000+08:00

whoever said that love makes you wanna be a better person has got to be lying.

love makes you happy. being happy increases your appetite. an increased appetite increases your food intake. and you become fatter. in accordance with bizi's belief system, a fatter person in no means equate a better person. far from it to be exact.

love also makes me wallow in my own pathetic little self-content. there is no incentive at all for me to try to lose my wriggling fats. yikes.

as it is, i've already become a 小肥猪.. at this rate we're going, there's no doubt i'm going to become a 大肥猪 very very soon. :(

ah bao bao, love me lesser okie? ^^

ps, i'm joking of cuz. as if my ah bao bao will love me any lesser than he does. i'll kill him if he even dare think about it.

and oh, in case you didnt notice, ah bao bao is the spanking new nickname i've given to the boyfriend. and as much as i'd have to admit its quite distressing being my boyfriend and being subjected to all my nonsensical nicknames, ah bao bao sounds kinda cute. its like how you'd say a-go-go. ^^

and my darling ah bao bao always replies me with this ultra cute 'yes', which hasnt been coming out at all lately, because i've been telling him how cute he sounds and he subconsciously checks against himself each time he 'yes' to my 'ah bao bao's.

and oh, stop bugging me with what i want for my birthday. i really have no idea. because all of the things that i really want, i dun think anybody would bother getting for me.

like a bean bag.

or victorias secret's vertical cup convertible push up bra

or that new 100 way strapless bra.

seriously, it would be nice to get me books. ^^
i'm currently wishing for paulo coehlo's eleven minutes, veronika decides to die and by the river piedra i sat down and wept.
i'm also hoping someone would get me the little prince or five people you meet in heaven (the nicest nicest nicest version possible) because some assholes stole them and i am too stingy to buy a book that i've already read before.
i'm a sucker for picture books (and you all know i love melancholic death of oyster boy) and someone recently told me the book of bunny suicides is nice.

so there.

actually, an sms will do. or a meal, a sumptuous one of cuz.

and oh, pls buy me extrim after that. thanks.

i'm going to go get busy growing out my nails so that i can have them nicely manicured next week.

pee-ing.

2007-05-09T22:34:00.000+08:00

remember my infamous 'bizi in the toilet' post?

this is when u're happily pee-ing and u smell something funny from the cubicle beside urs.

this is when u hear someone coming into the tiny toilet (2 cubicles only) and u are stressed to finish up.

this is when u stand up after u have been squatting for awhile.

and this is the ultra irritated look u give to the person next in line.

there would have been more if not for that stressor. how irritating. :(

and oh, i was happily eating my solmart strawberry melona ice cream when i realised it vaguely resembled something. i sent it to babe and she thinks 'the shape is there'.

hahaha! my boyfriend say, 'got this kind of ice cream one meh?' well, if u're skilled enough then have lor. lol.. eh, sounds abit wrong. blehs.

speaking of babe, here's the almanac that she's been reading in her free time..

this is worst than reading angela carter. at least i have my dictionary to turn to. i dun even know how to differentiate between the front and back. -.-"

oh, my mother just made me take this picture..

yala.. my phone is lousy and i dun have a scanner. u buy me one lor.. blehs..

and of surprises and wishlists, i'll blog about it in time to come, when the date draws nearer.

i gotta go talk to my boyfriend already. he just called. hees. ^^

golden key

2007-05-09T00:09:00.000+08:00

daddy gave mummy a golden key on her 21st birthday. (yes, they know each other for that long already. makes u wonder why mummy only popped me out so much later.)

today, mummy was talking about taking it to the jeweller's to get it polished. i think she's gonna give it to me. she's talked about it before, and i didnt think she was serious. but i think so now. i hope she doesnt give me the huge heart pendant with their initials engraved that she got for her dunno which birthday. my dad was damn orbit back then, or maybe i should say clueless. lolx. i shall see if i can snap snap and post it here. u're all gonna faint.

oh, ah fang, u can forget about giving me a key on my birthday already. blehs. i only have one neck and i dowan to look like a christmas tree.

wishlist?

i want surprises!!

2007-05-06T23:58:00.000+08:00

'love you 2 months like 2 years like 20 years like 200 years'

ray said that to me last month.

'love you 3 months like the 3rd kiss like the 3rd hug 3 lifetimes over.

bizi is saying that this month.

neverending legs

2007-05-03T23:59:00.000+08:00

because i'm seeing it everywhere, and i'm getting tired of it.

neverending legs look like this,

and u think i like it? i kinda dun.

random #3

2007-05-03T22:28:00.000+08:00

i'm supposed to pretend that i dun know my boyfriend went to buy a p*nk n*****do *s for my birthday today. ^^

and my super sweet darling dear came to fetch me to work this afternoon cuz it was raining and i was complaining about my jellified legs. clubbing aftermath. the exact reason i thought about being botak. cuz my hair reeks of cigarette.

and so kes, fang and i went mambo-ing last night. it might have been less fun if not for the 2 jugs of bourbon coke (apparently its still one-for-one at 1240). i dun think i drank as much as i did last night.

arh.. i actually had alot of things that i was going to blog about, like when my boyfriend came over to hug me at 1am just cuz i was feeling down, like how my very cute boyfriend wears socks to sleep when he's sick, like the very cute wallet (so cute tt i kinda dun dare to use) which he got me from kl..

oh, i'm not intending to blog about how i finished 3 out of 5 papers early this semester. (one of which i finished at the exact time the invigilator said we're not longer allowed to leave the exam venue, the other one i had enough time to refer to the text at every paragraph.)

anyways, the point is, i have a very very very sweet, super duper wuper cute, king kong sup pao super sup kae boyfriend. and i have every intention of bagging this boyfriend for good. of cuz, that includes minor sacrifices like doing things that will hopefully make him happy and subsequently love me more, and not doing the things that upset him, that which will lead to him loving me less. ^^

me: 阿宝, 我要花..
him: hands me the parsley from his pasta.
me: -.-"

me: 阿宝, 我生日的时候, 我要踢你下楼..
him: 为什么?
me: then 屁股就会开花, then 我就有花了 lor.
him: -.-"

life is wonderful when u let it be. i heart heart heart ray darling. my ray darling. ^^

erm, ya, he looks fugly, but i think i look cute, so nevermind la. ^^

botak

2007-05-03T04:57:00.000+08:00

i am thinking as i type now..

do botak ppl's head smell? like how ur hair smell after clubbing and all. do botak ppl's heads smell? do they get dandruff? do they wash their heads with shampoo or body cleanser or facial?

hmm..

i shall go sleep on it. or maybe check the almanac, like ah fang does in her free time.. blehs.

*nights*

exam?!

2007-04-27T22:50:00.001+08:00

last paper tomoro. wahaha!!

ah fang say she's starting to get into her 'post-exam' mood. me? i havent even gotten into my exam mood. blehs. i think i'm going to see an 'f' on my results slip this semester. and then i'll receive that warning letter (if there's any) from the dean's office. as it is, i already have a very much skewed (to the left) cap.. its under 3, under 2.5 even, if i remember correctly. and after my bio paper, my social psych paper and that health psych paper.. hais.. :(

i've been wanting to post up pictures of babe's birthday haw par villa trip. but then, really, not nice de lor.. and my favourite fu lu shou statue is not there already.

guess which are mine?

and ya, if u're gonna tell me my hair's real messy or that my cute 'little' tummy is bulging, i already know.

those were taken at vivo, by the way. the place where ray first brought me to. and then he's never brought me there again. humph!! so bad de..

speaking of birthday, on mine, i wanna go to yangtze, and to turf club, and then to some atas 21 and above club. i was playing with the idea of a tattoo, i want a sun, a very cute yellow sun, with a smiley face in the middle and all.. but then i remembered that i cried when i got my ears pierced. oh well, bizi cannot tattoo.

or can i just mahjong or club or ktv the whole night away? i dun wan anything fanciful. i just dun want to have to be alone. and that stupid act cute boyfriend has to work.

i'm going to go bookmark the text for tomoro's open book ecom paper already. never study, at least look the part to intimidate the person sitting next to me. wahaha. blehs. ^^

10 things i love about you.

2007-04-25T01:20:00.002+08:00

i'm very unsatisfied. unsatisfied with my relationship. unsatisfied with my studies. unsatisfied with how my life has been spiralling downwards ever since ever.

i know ray loves me. and i probably should think that i love him too. but there are times when i feel this piercing inadequacy. this lack of understanding. this lack of overlap. i'm a thousand layers of secret, hiding underneath that superficial simplicity. i go into this morose phase very often, when that tiny voice in the back of my head starts to talk to the other, louder voice that comes out in the open.

i'm starting to think that tiny voice is the real me. the me who is untainted by the influence of the world around me. the me who is, but a spectator in the worldly manifestation of superficiality.

perception is reality. what we perceive is what becomes of our reality. but what we perceive is only that superficial veneer, the mask we put on to fit into this demanding, this ugly, this shrinking yet expanding, world. superficial reality. how oxymoronic. how sad. yet how oddly true.

i recognise the fact that u love me. and i perceive it to be true. i further make out that i love u, and i perceive that to be true too. this is how i see it.

and this is why i think it to be true.

10 things i love about ray
1. i love that i can wear heels when i'm around him and still look small.

2. i love that he keeps gawking at me when i'm wearing slightly low-cut tops. my boyfriend is possessive. he says he's the only one who can see things that are only meant for his eyes. but i am the narcissistic self-voyeur, remember? ^^

3. i love that he acts cute relentlessly, and it completely drives me to my knees. i cant even compare. -.-"

4. i love when he offers to carry my bag for me, and i conveniently dump everything to him.

5. i love when he doesnt fuss over me when i cry in the cinema, and proceeds to laugh at me when the show ends and the lights come out.

6. i love when he sings while he drives me home and forgets the lyrics and makes up his own.

7. i love when he calls me and talks nonsense to me because he's really concentrating on his game. and he doesnt want me to find out, but i already have.

8. i love the ridiculously cute morning messages he sends me that makes me smile when i open my eyes, first thing in the day, every day.

9. i love the security that he gives me, that he will always be here if i ever need him to be. i want to buy him shoes, because i want to break that ridiculous myth. because my boyfriend will always be here for me.

10. i love my bao who loves his ah bi. ^^

*muacks*
thanks for putting up with my nonsense. i love u, dear.

back ^^

2007-04-22T23:04:00.000+08:00

*bliss*

*reunited*

suay lor!!

2007-04-22T11:04:00.000+08:00

i will see my boyfriend in approximately 6 hours. ^^

and my menses just came. no fuck. pun intended.

how inexorably suay can i get?!

ah bao at kl

2007-04-19T04:47:00.000+08:00

its 10 minutes to 5 (AM mind u) and i'm waiting for my ray to msg me to 报平安. if not, i cant sleep. tired. but cant. every few minutes, i'll check my phone and hit the right hand of my xiao bao (because its a voice recordable and i got ah bao to record a msg on it before he left).

not that i'm worried about him. for gods sake, he's really only going to kl.
i'm just worried that he'll forget to msg me, and he'll forget to miss me. blehs.

js say, 'good tt know tt u're in love'
thnx, i am. ^^

i'm now super sleepy. and i've to wake up at 7 later, because i swore i will get my butt down to central library. and i'm meeting babe there at 9. i havent told u how terrible it is to study at home eh? my grandma simply have to come and check on me like every 15 minutes to see if i am hungry/want to eat/have eaten/have eaten/have eaten. urgh! i have a paper on saturday and i have not touched the damn thing yet. doesnt help that i have never touched any of my text books so far. (other than bio and social psych for mid terms. i am so dead. papers on the 21st, 23rd, 25th, 26th and 28th.)

and it is completely irritating that mummy and her (ah ma) keeps feeding me with lots of food. because i have obviously put on weight. ALOT of weight. i'm back to wearing my size 26 jeans already. urgh!

even janette said my face looked rounder. as did lian mei mei. and a whole shitload of other ppl. yikes!

oh. and my ah bao is damn cute. he actually told babe to acc me while he's away because i'll be sad. he's damn paranoid about me being sad, and tt i'll run away. kekes. ^^

am beginning to 发花痴 abit and the 相思病 has totally set in already.

my boyfriend. my very very vain boyfriend. my super act seh boyfriend. my cute boyfriend. my king kong sup pao super sup kae boyfriend.

now u know that he's good at photoshop and alot better than me at it. and yes, he uses that as his friendster pic to 骗小妹妹.. i havent logged in to friendster in a long time (other than checking that few friendster blogs, tts why u prolly see me as logging in every day) so i dunno if he's changed it. doesnt change the fact that he's damn vain.

oh, and he totally cannot stand it when i dun wash my face before i sleep. i merely remove make up and rinse. if no make up, then just rinse. i think i said this before, right? oh well, my mantra is, as long as i'm not sticky or smelly or oily (but i'm not oily one), then i'm clean and good to go to bed. ^^

k, i shall go close my eyes and hug the new bolster that i bought on tuesday with ah bao at courts toa payoh and pray tt he msg me soon so i can go to sleep.

ah bi and ah bao.

2007-04-17T22:47:00.000+08:00

this is ah bi..

this is ah bao..

together, this is ah bi and ah bao..

ray is going to kl tomoro, and he'll only be back on sunday. in the meantime, ah bao will accompany me. tts why mine is called ah bao and his is called ah bi. ^^

(the reason why i'm so pissed with him going away is cuz he wont be able to take leave to acc me on my birthday, my 21st birthday. even though ah fang slept hers away, at least she was sleeping beside lian. even though zhiyong wasnt back yet, at least kes had an awesome time.

that and the fact that it eats me to be studying my ass off while he's enjoying himself.

and oh, i'll miss him. we've been meeting every other day since the start. its gonna be weird not being able to hug my baobao.)

many many days later.

2007-04-16T21:37:00.000+08:00

as much as i would love to drown u in my cantankerous depression, that which i have submerged myself in, i'd rather make this a happy happy entry. afterall, the astute bombshell who came up with this ingenous saying 'i'll bring smiles to the faces of those around me when i'm sad. at least then, i can rub some happiness off them.' is none other than urs truly.

bah.. anyways.. smelly fang still haven send me the pictures from that time yet. humph! so inefficient one. but, i still have a whole lot of pictures waiting to blog about. ^^

i really ought to be busy studying for my bio psych paper which is like on saturday and which i have not started on yet. i have no idea what came into me this sem, for the same time last semester, babe and i were busy securing the best window seats in central library from the ah tiongs and the ah nehs and the other last minute buddha leg huggers. i keep having this 'my cap cannot possibly drop any further' thought, which is really true, but u never know, and it is keeping me from my books!! urgh!!

bah. i'll start studying come wednesday when i go join suting at smu. dunno why that nus psych major wanna go smu to study. but oh well. nearer my house, and supposedly emptier. in the meantime, pictures!!

first up, before i start my deluge of ray-ness, uncle man!! after u see the following, u're likely to subscribe to the fictitious notion that bizi is a bully. wahaha!

okie, so these pictures were taken a damn long time ago. (like u cant tell he's wearing that christmasy reindeer hairband.) but since i'm going to post up uncle man, i might as well post from the beginning.

uncle man, in MY adidas jacket.

uncle man's very pweety nails. ^^ (my toe nails are in this combi now. and ah bao absolutely hates it.)

i was so fed up with lao wu puo that i went to break chopsticks. then uncle man tried breaking with his nostrils. really. this is wat makes work bearable.

seriously, the stone pot/bowl thingy is very heavy.

that vainpot went to curl his lashes.

ah bao seems to like uncle man alot. he was saying the other night, 'cannot talk to other guys on msn wor.' then he added, 'can talk to uncle man only'.. -.-"

i realise i've been taking pictures of bao kissing me, and i rarely take pictures of me kissing him back. so here. this was taken the day we went to watch 'meet the robinsons' and havent i told u its a great show? why arent u watching it yet, huh?

ah bao's favourite picture of the night. because i am blurred. bao always say 'bi very pweety when the lights are dim' knn. means bright bright see clearly is ugly la. humph!

oh. i had to crop it like that because my mimi looks somewhat selacious. -.-"

we went to watch '200 pound beauty' on saturday night, and i at least looked nice before the show.

my boyfriend looks damn shuai in that first picture. i like. ^^

oh, and this is the after.

sibeh swollen the eyes, i tell u. the one good thing that i learnt, was that my majorlica majorca mascara is waterproof. and so is the face shop eyeliner.

and oh, the show's damn nice too. its because of this that i've made up my mind to go learn korean this holiday. away with the lousy subtitles and dubbing. i will learn and master the language in the 3 months to come. and then i shall smugly go ask for my payrise. now that i can speak korean, i dun see why they cant pay me the same rate they pay the koreans.

who wanna join me?

oh yes, speaking of holiday plans, i'm going to work my ass off and save as much money as i possibly can (which will amount to very little) because i wanna go taiwan with ah fang in october!! actually, i also dunno go for wat, but i just wanna go la. ^^

babe says she's going to bring her 'chicken nuggets brother' after he finishes his exams, and she totally forgot we had our exams. but oh well. i'm going to go still. blehs.

and then, i'm trying to convince mummy to go korea in december. when uncle man goes back. free lodgings and tour guide. okie, maybe not lodgings, but definitely got free guide. daddy was just complaining about how his tour group of aunties made his trip so much less enjoyable. haha. ^^

honey, u wanna go?

anyways, back to my photo flood. ^^

i've been complaining incessantly about becoming fatter recently, and then i bugged ah bao to bring me with him when he went to wash his van that day. i was telling him i wanted to help. so..

my kingkong sup pao super sup kae boyfriend. erm, he's really abit smelly here, cuz it was damn humid and he was sweating away. but i like. ^^

oh, and he was wearing gloves because he cut his hand the other day when the fan dropped from the table and the cover flew off from the thing and then one of the blades broke and assaulted my bao's helpless hand, all because according to him i kicked the mattress that hit the fan and caused it to lose balance and fall and yada yada, while we were that-one that-one ing. actually no, we havent started, and the whole chain of events plus ah bao's bleeding hand made us lose wateva mood we were in. major turn off. stupid fan.

anyways, back to the pictures. being tall has its advantages. for instance,

anyways, i've been wanting to do this for a long time,

still doesnt quite capture that he's 20cm taller than me. i'm 168 for that matter. which is why i can still wear my 4" wedges happily. ^^

u didnt see me helping? i was! i was busy, erm, studying the snails,

they attached themselves to the wall by the carpark and i was really busy studying if they were moving. -.-"

and oh cuz, i was busy taking pictures of my boyfriend, and erm, falling asleep in the van. hees. ^^

and so, to award me for my hardwork, ah bao bought me this,

bird nest!!

fake bird nest. i actually finished it despite its completely artificial taste. and if u must know, i didnt finish the one that mummy double-boiled for me the last time she did that, which was ages ago. humph!

maybe if i had really been helping ah bao, he would get me real bird nest, complete with the pao sim (which i love the bitter bitter taste) and all. ^^

we had pizza for dinner that day. because i proudly declared that my sorethroat has healed. but then, thanks to the drumlets and the 2-3 slices that i had, i'm now coughing like mad again. tamade.

us, sending me home.

actually, maybe i'm coughing because of that milo dinosaur. urgh! ya, i think tts the case.

and then today..

i happen to think i look quite nice today, but bao refused to take more picture with me. urgh! smelly bao.

i am so monotonous. i am so boring. i am so uninteresting!! i am becoming such a teeny boper blogger, with all my 'u're so cuddly i like u' boyfriend posts.

reality bites. my reality is but an ugly truth. i'm far from happy these days, but i'm not willing to let this become some avenue for my frustration, like how the old blog was. when u indulge in anger, it becomes some cruel cycle that sucks u into unhappiness. when i blog, i shall blog only about happy things, think happy thoughts to blog about. and then, even if it bores the hell out of u, at least it's made me happy in the process.

i used to blog about how sad i am, how many problems bug me down, how fast i'm sinking into depression, and they worry the hell out of those who read my blog and who care about me. i am emotionally unstable, that much, i'll admit. that much, sadly, will always be part of me. but these days, i've become too skeptic to even become depressed. sad, but true.

i know who my friends are. and even though i rarely reach out to u, because tts just the way i am, i know u are there for me if i'll ever need u. i know who my friends are. and when i'm depressed, when i'm sad, i will reach out to u, instead of having to resort to this detached removed channel of blogging.

i've been wanting to say this for a long time,

u'll never have to write me another letter. nor do u have to keep checking on my blog to see if i'm alright. i really am. if i'm not, i promise u'll be the first to know. (apart from ah bao, who i will undoubtedly amplify everything to. girls always act ke lian and become this helpless little kitty cat in front of their boyfriends anyways.)

i'm sorry if i made u feel unimportant. because u always have been, and will still always be, the bestest best friend i can have.

i love u honey. ^^

urgh! people is complaining that i blog too slowly and that people has fallen asleep on people's comp desk. yada yada. as if these people blog as regularly as i do.

2007-04-09T10:53:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY AH FANG!

u all think i very free ar?

2007-04-08T14:56:00.000+08:00

before i start,

goh suleen got blog alot meh? last entry also less than 10 lines de..
chew huifang got blog alot meh? last entry only 1 line de..

still dare to say i blog very little.. at least my entries are LONG..

--------------------------------------

ah bao and me went to dine at ajisen (my ah bao loves ajisen.) the other day to celebrate our pathetic 2nd monthsary. eeks. honey and daniel celebrated their 46th, babe and lian meimei celebrated their 2nd year. i am so pathetic!! one day, it will be my turn too. humph..

all that lim chieh sern's fault for deserting me. but oh well.. luckily lim chieh sern deserted me. if not i wouldnt have found ah bao, that smelly ah bao, who is playing his stupid game, ignoring me.

see

and while my ah bao is gaming away, hardworking bizi is busy doing her health psych paper.

see

oh, u're not supposed to, in case u do realise that i'm watching youtube behind that word document. blehs. like u'd all believe i'm really doing my work when ah bao is here to distract me.

this is what i have been really doing.

kissing ah bao..

forcing him to take pictures with me, despite knowing damn well that i look like shit and is too ~~lazy~~ busy to photoshop my eyebags and his pimples/acne away.

and i have been very busy taking incriminating shots of him ignoring me.

here's a close-up. see, i'm so bored.

smelly ah bao. ignore me. humph!! (oh, i just realise my mimi is at ah bao's armpit.. wait become smelly, like babe's head. i shall be more careful next time. hahaha..)

i've been coughing for days already. and its all ah bao's fault for spreading it to me. and i'm spreading it to kes, or so she says, because she sounds damn okie to me. was actually going to go see doctor just now. bao forced me to. but i managed to convince him that i'm okie already, so we ended up not seeing the doctor, and going to macdonald's for lunch. had mcchicken, ice milo and lotsa fries with chilli sauce and mayonnaise. so much for coughing. i think i'm going to cough to death already.

and i'm blaming my cough now on ah bao for bringing me to mac for lunch. -.-"

ah bao just made me take this cough syrup thingy, that supposedly doesnt cause drowsiness but i have been yawning away, and my head has been spinning non-stop since i took it. it does make me drowsy. *pouts*

aiya, must be me being lazy and coming up with some self-handicapping reason to attribute my failure to complete the health psych paper when i go home later on. blehs..

i've been drinking lotsa crysanthemum tea lately because ah bao makes me. and it reminds me of the luo han guo that babe bought me on my first day of work at novena. (is it the first day? i think it is.) the luo han guo that made me cringe everytime i drink it. eeks.. i swear i'll never drink luo han guo again, ever.

daddy is going to korea later today. with his friends. and mummy asked me a few weeks ago if i wanted to go. she said she'll sponsor my expenses and all. then when i told her that i cant cuz i'm having my exams, she actually had the decency to tell me 'ya, i know. if not u think i'll ask meh?' some mother. purposely one lor.

so didi asked daddy to buy him a set of korean cutlery. with the super skinny metal chopsticks and the damn long spoon, which we already have one set that mummy stole from this korean restaurant we went to like 2 years ago. its not nice to use, and i have no idea why didi likes them so much. crazy.

oh. mummy asked daddy to buy her lvs from korea. korean lv that didi and i insisted are fakes, but which mummy claims to be 'not fake. just korean instead of italy (i cant remember she said where la).' and when we gave her the 'dun lie to urself' look, she said 'looks like real one wat. somemore not very cheap one lor.'

-.-"

i'm beginning to think if the 3 lvs that i stole from her last year are fakes too. i already know that the gucci is fake, and thats after my comb accidentally scratched the thing and damn near made a hole. i was so scared she'd find out, then didi said mummy told him its a fake from hk.

so now, i'm using it like its some worthless piece of shit, dragging it to classes. blehs.

i better go back to doing my health psych paper, before ah bao realise i'm actually blogging instead of doing my work.

before i go though,

my ah bao say he looks better in the second picture, and i say the first one is nicer. but i think everybody else will just shrug and say they're the same. its funny how people are more critical, and think more highly of themselves. spotlight effect. ^^

and since i'm so fond of taking pictures, (photowhore sounds bad la.)

actually, my ah bao is very adept at acting cute also de lor. eeks. i better go practise more in front of the mirror if not i'll pale in comparison. then again, my bao is so cute, i already do. ^^

and i really think my eyebrows are not that thick ma.. its really just long and dark.. pluck/trim le also no use.. hor?

and before i forget, here's the very ugly korean superstar who came to our shop the other day, my favourite korean emailed me his picture. and she's been emailing me alot, in korean, like i understand. and she knows i dun understand. -.-"

that smelly picture got virus one lor. it took me some effort to save it to my lappie. and i will delete it once i've posted it. so i die die will post it to let everybody (who reads my blog) know how ugly he is. yucks.

he reallys creeps me out in that picture and babe said he looks like he doesnt have penis. so ya. just warning u. ^^
(and u dun have to tell me our shop looks messy. i already know. bk's fault.)

yucky right?! in case that picture filled u with as much fear and shock as it did me, here's my favourite celebrity baby in the whole world, kingston rossdale. (i think tts how u spell his name.)

so cute!! ^^

k la. i better go already. else, i will never finish my health psych paper. oh yes, bao's sister's boyfriend makes very nice pasta. better than didi's.

random #2

2007-04-03T23:15:00.000+08:00

i googled, but failed, to find a picture of supposed korean singing sensation, lee an, who visited our shop the other day and plastered his big, ugly signature on the under side of the cover page of my once-beautiful notebook.

the said notebook has been chucked to one side, and it has since not failed to evoke an expression of 'eeww-ness' each time i set eyes on it. like i even wanted his ugly signature in the first place, and of all places, he had to sign at the under side of the cover page, under my beautiful name. the space where i had reserved for my beloved da dong. urgh!!

and u cant expect me to tear out the cover page right? it is the cover page after all. the cute cover page. of all pages, that freaking ugly sensation had to sign on a page where i cant tear it out. stupid de.

bk was so excited to see him, i tell u. she was practically talking to him the entire time, plastering her face into all of the photographer's shots, much to his exasperation of cuz. and to think i was coerced into the photo taking session with the aunties and that ugly singing sensation. urgh!! hopefully, my smirk doesnt appear in the pathetic article on the 72nd issue of u-weekly according to, i cant remember who liao la.

in any case, i'm thinking it wont. afterall, lee an is this unknown whoever, and i doubt the article would be big enough to even feature anything redundant, like us.

and it was really damn paisae because i was like, 'huh? got ming xing ar? who? where?' and i was looking around the shop and then, noticing no one relatively famous, i went to tell sally, 'aiya. must be not famous one la.' i think the manager or somebody heard me and was like explaining he's some korean star based in singapore or something la. like i'm even remotely interested lor. waste my time pretending to be impressed.

not famous means not famous.

anyways, didi managed to get into rp. after a whole month of torturous wait, he's at least managed to get into poly. yes i know rp is like shit, but better than nothing la. i dun think i was this happy when i knew i got into jc, or even nus. *yay*

my boyfriend say cannot keep musing about how cute he is, or else my friends will start to pang seh me. oh well. he's starting to become uncute anyways.. smelly and all, having just reached home, and still playing away at his stupid game, refusing to go bath.

oh, and my spiteful mother went to sew a patch of cloth over the front part of my bolster because she thinks its too smelly. like i asked her to smell it lor. now my bolster has none of its defining characteristics liao la.

it used to be..
smelly, but its my smell, so i like. my years of salivating essence, plus sneezes, plus the occasional tears and all.

it used to be..
harder at the top and softer at the bottom where i kiap it at.

it used to be..
shiny at the top part because i must touch it to make me fall asleep.

all gone! all gone!

i shall go mourn the lost essence of me-ness in my bolster, as i cough away.

the last

meet the robinsons

2007-03-31T18:13:00.000+08:00

i rarely advocate movies but this is awesome. ^^

go watch k?

photo flood. ^^

2007-03-29T14:54:00.000+08:00

i feel so loved. its the second day in a row now that my brother has bought breakfast for me. gosh, its so easy to make me happy.

actually, i think i'm just super gian png la..

which is why i love working at novena so much. for one, the bossy korean (henceforth known as b.k. or sometimes affectionately referred to as oh-ma.) doesnt boss me around the way she bosses the others around. and i really do see her working la. oh, her kimchi's real nice, and she's always asking me to go eat, which is why they are starting to call her my mother (oh-ma). -.-"

uncle man says she's just super impatient and a complete neurotic perfectionist (the last part is really added in by me). then again, uncle man's just nice la. in fact, his niceness is one of the reasons i sometimes look forward to work. i have pictures to post actually, but ah fang wants to collect pictures of 'bizi bullying man', so i cant post them just yet. we'll just have to wait till i bully uncle man more, and babe has enough pictures to post. blehs.

oh, and this is my favorite favorite korean (henceforth known as oh-nee) in the whole world (apart from hyun bin, rain and my beloved kwon sang woo, who's getting a little too old already),

she's damn cute la. i made her teach me korean and all she's managed to drill into me are korean bad words. -.-"

oh. and my bao is really still as cute as ever. he thinks he's so blur because he's always knocking his head on the mrt ceiling, bus ceiling and his van ceiling. i almost choked on my hot chocolate when i read that sms he sent me.. so cuteee..

and oh, here's my darling on his way to work.

yes, he's wearing shoes and black socks with his 3-quarts. and u should really see how he tries to hide it using his shirt.

darling brought me to this place at jurong some time ago for the best hang hir and it was best meal we ever had.

see. we cleared everything. i think i'm really gonna become a big fat pig soon, what with my bao and oh-ma and oh-nee stuffing me with all those goodies. -.-"

my boyfriend loves me. ^^

ah yes. i know i look ridiculously black and white in that second picture. i've been looking like that alot these days. my mother told me i am becoming fairer, which i totally dislike, because although 一白遮三臭, 黑看起来比较瘦 lors..

i was asked the other day, as to why i am so adamant about making this relationship work, and the first thing that came to mind was, 'because ray's so damn cute'. i disappointed the hell out of that person because he was expecting i'd say 'because i love ray alot'. well, of cuz i love my bao. i love him as much as, if not more than all my other ex-boyfriends. its just that his cuteness, and the way i overlook some of my exasperation and anger because he's so damn cute makes me more convinced that i will be able to see this through.

if u must know, i'm going through a rather bad phase now. the stress of working/schooling and not having enough sleep has taken a toil on my already not there temper, and bao's been on the receiving end of my mood swings. but u know, his cuteness and perpetual blurity (oh, i love coining words that sound real) almost always manage to bring me out of my own down-ness. ^^

i love my boyfriend. i love loving my boyfriend.

okie, so the other day honey and i met up with shuliang and grace for grace's post-birthday get-together thingy. and we took awhole lot of pictures. so much that i cant even be bothered to photoshop my eyebags or make the contrast look nicer blah blah blah..

my dessert for the night..

the swensen waiter's lousy photographic skills.

路人甲's even lousier photographic skills.

and then we saw this..

and we all started to become spastic.

shuliang and honey completely dun look like one lor. at least grace and i tried. -.-"

then we begun taking pictures like crazy.

shuliang, honey and bizi

grace, honey and bizi

grace, shuliang and bizi

grace, shuliang and honey

after that, we went crazy.. (actually, we already are la. but i was thinking posting normal pictures before crazy pictures are better.)

and so, in the same order..

i happen to think i am a great photographer. see that last picture? ^^

i think we were really irritating the shit out of all those who walked pass us and amusing the urine out of ourselves.

henceforth, i am stealing pictures from honey's blog because she has the 喜怒哀乐s there already. ^^

this angle is so unflattering. but oh well.. -.-"

its very difficult to look sad when there are crazy people around u. ^^

and shuliang half-ed her own face. lolx..

and then we (i think is me) decided to take pictures with everybody doing the same expression..

i think we would make good spokespeople for the spastic association. ^^

and the whole photo whoring continued even after grace, honey and i boarded the cab lor.. (actually, its just me insisting to continue taking pictures la. i think i am crazy sometimes too.)

and the other love of my life.

oh, this is the first love,

bah!! i'm just kidding. blehs. ^^

my love..

ahh yes.. i'm showing off again. blehs.. and the pictures were from a long time ago, if u noticed my beautiful red-and-gold-for-chinese-new-year nail colour.

mt. bizi's 5 fingers.

2007-03-26T01:09:00.000+08:00

i dun have enough time to post the pictures that i want to post. a whole shit load of them. yikes!

i will do that when i have the 闲情雅兴 to do so. i simply cant find any strand of creativity left in me to blog after spending the whole of last week, struggling to make ends meet. its not easy surving 8-9 working hours (plus school when i'm not otherwise working) on 2-3 hours of sleep, days on end. see, even my spelling deserts me. surviving.

anyways, the point is, i really just wanna say sorry to my darling dear honey bunny hubby waffle chocolate peanut butter cookies cream pie. ^^

i was feeling abit stifled the other day by all those deadlines and work schedule and all i wanted was to have more time to hug my darling dear to sleep and wake up when we feel like waking up, instead of being woken by the stupid alarm. its so irritating to have to wake up every morning. and its more irritating to have to wake ur super cute boyfriend up when he's sleeping so soundly (and cutely also la)..

anyways, point is, i wanna say sorry to darling because i told him that i felt stifled, and whenever i feel stifled, i start thinking if its really a good idea to even have a boyfriend at all. yes, i know its unhealthy to have such thoughts, like i want to la. and poor darling got so freaked out by that idea that he completely spaced out for like 5-10 minutes and he (according to himself) was almost going to cry already.

i feel so terribly guilty can?

like i will say bye bye to the cutest boyfriend, who pats me to sleep, hugs me to sleep, and when i'm asleep, goes down to wash his van. who puts more effort into cooking maggi mee for me than for himself such that mine tastes heavenly while his is like, like that lor. ^^

i am so loved. i dun just feel loved, i am. ^^

i love holding his hand while he drives me home. i love lying on his shoulder and distracting him while he drives me home. i love it when he gets irritated that i'm pouting again. i love it when he tells me his butt itches. i love it when he calls to tell me his fart is smelly. and like i will ever allow him to even think of escaping mt. bizi's 5 fingers. blehs.

i love u bao.

i love my bao.

oh, just a little preview of wats to come in my next blog..

oh oh, by the way, laozhabor.blogspot.com is real one leh!!

season of new template

2007-03-21T03:07:00.000+08:00

its the season of new blogskins!!

woohoo

i almost wanted to use this

lucky my smarts rescued the fate of this blog in the nick of time to save all of u from my absurd proclaimation of love for da dong. blehs.

the thing is, i am so freaking proud of myself, can?! u have no idea how long it took me to figure out how to use the different photoshop functions. i is so clever. ^^

new blogskin nice right?

u're supposed to say its nice. otherwise, i'll change my password and not let u know. blehs.

------------------------------

i know its kinda irritating to have to remember to hit 'CAPS LOCK' when u key in the password for my blog. actually, the whole thing itself is just plain troublesome. tts the whole point ma.. i'll remove it after my birthday.. keke.

i'm getting on everyone's nerves with my incessant 'boyfriend is cute' posts. honey just told me the other day to update my blog because she's getting sick of seeing the 'my boyfriend is cute'. (she already tagged me and she still msn-ed me. shows how irritated she is. haha..) babe told suting (and who knows who else) that 'bizi everyday blog about how cute her boyfriend is'.

actually by everybody i really mean the 2 of them la. my whole repertoire of blog readers is the 2 of them. er, the rest of the remaining, like 5 ppl who read my blog, please pretend to not exist for awhile to allow me to roll about in my made up self-misery. okie okie, its getting late, i'm getting sleepy. i'm beginning to not make sense.

anyways, the point is that i really dun mean to keep gushing about how cute ray is. its just that, he really is, and i cant help it. blehs.. ^^

my boyfriend is seriously ridiculously cute even though he is slightly irritating at times. like how he insists on meeting me for awhile, even though it is completely out of the way for both of us (more on that later). and how he have been insinuating that i am short and fat (more on that later too). and how he refuses to sleep even though he's tired because he claims that i am angry.

so today darling and i met up for a little while to go play 大富翁 at his place. yes, how disgustingly meaningless can it be to go all the way to boon lay to play that stupid game for like 10 minutes. this is what i meant when i said 'he insists on meeting me for awhile, even though it is completely out of the way for both of us.'

although i do get upset when we dun get to meet, it upsets me even more when he has to go out of his way to come meet me for awhile. one fine day, that ridiculously cute boyfriend is going to spoil me nuts. wait. i think one fine day has come already. haha. blehs.

my darling dear is adorably paranoid about me leaving him, or about me getting upset or angry. i almost have to convince him that i am okie every night before he is willing to go sleep. and this is crazy because i'm super hyped up about talking to him and he's just super sleepy and tired.

and oh, he's been a complete pain in the ass, with his innuendoes about me being short and fat.
'dear, why u always cut off my hair when we take picture de?' (cuz i am too short.)
'dear, lucky u not as bony as me, or else not nice to hug liao.' (cuz i am fat.)

yucks. i hate my boyfriend. and i super love him at the same time too. blehs.

ar shucks. its 4 freaking am already and i have to wake up at 0745 later to go to work.. and i still want to finish watching my corner with love. i seriously need some 真字 for tonight's 4d.. (not like i buy anyways.. -.-")

sleepy morning

2007-03-16T09:44:00.000+08:00

my boyfriend is super cute. yes. i've decided that i'm going to begin every freaking blog entry with a 'my boyfriend is super cute'.. better still, i might just change 'pretty bizi signing off' to 'i have a super cute boyfriend. bye!'

u think i'm crazy?

i think i may be crazy.

ray drives me crazy with his undeniable, unbearable cuteness. and no, i dun mean it in a bad way. how bad can it be when ur boyfriend wakes u up at 6am in the morning because he wants to hug u? that said, i'm really not all that please to have to rouse from my secret rendezvous with morpheus. blehs. okie la, i'm secretly smiling now because my boyfriend wants to hug me at 6am. my boyfriend is so so so so cute. yikes! ^^

he always make me look like some idiot when i think of him or read his messages.

okie. i should just change my sign off message to 'idiot with a super cute boyfriend signing off'

oh oh, i'm thinking it might have something to do with the fact that darling's hair was all messed up and he had this super super blur and ultra cute look. oh, and he looks damn hot in that ridiculously skimpy monkey boxers.. yikes! i better stop fantasizing. i dun want to be drooling in my stats lecture later.

yes yes yes. i'm in the lecture theatre now. darling has to reach some workplace by 9.15 so he had to drop me in nus by 9 latest. so i have been rotting around since then and the lecture will only be starting at 10, which is like another 10 minutes away. i am unbelievably sleepy because that raymond tan woke me up at 6am and then he promptly (like an hour later la.. ^^) falls asleep leaving me to weave in and out of my slumber because morpheus is angry that i had to leave in the midst of our rendezvous, and refuses to take me back. sigh..

i'm only awake now because i can smell my boyfriend's smell.. okie, okie. its the assience shampoo again. i should just change to using that and then hypnotise myself into believing that i'm smelling ray everyday. see, i told u i might be crazy.

better stop gushing about how cute ray is. i have a feeling babe is starting to get irritated in a fun way. suting just said babe was telling her about how i've been going on and on about how cute ray is. i can like totally see babe going 'kekeke'.. haha.

well, da xiong stayed up all night last night just to buy breakfast for suting and send her (which is like take bus with her) to school this morning leh.. i wonder if darling will be as sweet as he is now 2 years later (which is like how long da xiong and suting have been together). oh oh, and da xiong's 粹落的心灵 was hurt because babe say he no life. -.-"

am gonna be meeting ys and kz later tonight for i dunno wat. i'm gonna ask honey along since she say she'll be lonely since daniel will be going to bkk with his friends. will probably not have pictures to post since miss tan rarely ever takes pictures.. i shall post a small ass (because the stupid blogskin configuration no no let me put big ass pictures) picture of us (and super ugly too) at the end of this post, which is like now already since lecture will be beginning soon.

x japan

2007-03-14T01:57:00.000+08:00

went steamboating with ys, kz and kw the other day.. and i almost died from prawn overdose. anyways, here are the pictures..

the only reason i enjoyed sitting next to him was because i figured i'll die of laughing and lose all my appetite if i had to sit opposite him.

i'm talking about kw, of cuz. his reactions are seriously classic.

here's my big head and kenny's prawns, as in, he peeled prawns for yingsi and i. and yes, we both had like at least 20 prawns each. i'm going to die of high cholesterol.

completely random and red-eyed me.

better, but still ugly.

tts about it.

was feeling super fucked up earlier cuz workload is piling up but everything is still in pending mode. meaning, everything that i can do is done and there's nothing more left to do now except see the deadline nearing.
(projects must wait for people to finish their parts, and i dun even know if i'm supposed to do that part which i'm supposed to do.)

and to make things worse, my total assets was like down to less than $20 (kill me, seriously. i have no idea how i managed to get myself into this shithole.) and my c-cup. can i put them up for sale? poverty drives people crazy. me, at least.

and then mummy came to give me $172 cuz she tio-ed 4d again, and it completely lifted my mood. yes, i'm pathetic. $172 is pathetic, but better than nothing, especially when u consider how much i have left. seriously, if u'd knew how often my ma tio 4d (and i'm only counting the times that are at least 4-digit), u'd think singapore pools or wateva illegal syndicate, would have folded up by now. i think she tio-ed like 4-5 times this year already. and its only beginning of march.

makes me wonder, why i never tio 4d one?!

and so my very rich mother came to tell me, after i told her i'm working tomoro, that if i dun feel like it, i should just quit, she'll just give me money lor. i gave her the obligatory 'orh'. because if she knew how much money i have left, and how much i spend, she probably wouldnt have said wat she did.

to prove my point, i spent $100 on a new bra (plus matching undies, cuz i always have to get the matching undies) the other day, despite having only $125 left. (please kill me and knock some dollar sense into me.) oh, and i offered to wear for darling, but he said '不要,我要偷看的..'

no need to kill me already. he did with that reply. my boyfriend is damn cute de. i know.

speaking of which, he's been repeating and repeating 'bibi 是我的.. bibi 是我的.. 不可以跑掉..' ever since that jiesheng-wanted-me-back incident. and then just now, while i was talking to him on the phone, masking and secretly listening to x japan's tears (all at the same time, just that he didnt know. but i guess he does, now.), he actually told me that we we should go rom, just so i wont run away. -.-"

my boyfriend is very cute, and a little bit crazy.

x japan, tears.

damn nice de, i know. i've had this song in my itunes playlist for as long as i can remember, and i only just learn that its by x japan. i think i should go bang my head against the wall. oh, and i ought to mention that kes loves loves loves loves loves yoshiki.

like i'm very free to go search for more pictures. i still have my 转角遇到爱 to watch.

na, here's one very nice song from that show.
cai minyou - wo ke yi

cute!!

2007-03-12T23:57:00.000+08:00

my boyfriend is so-so-so-so-so cute.. ^^
eeeeeeks!! he completely drives me crazy..

*goes into mad rampage and begins to tear out hair*

i heart ray many many.

the yucky hair and the best boyfriend.

2007-03-09T13:40:00.000+08:00

wigs are expensive. that, i learnt when i was doing some phony research on that yucky ecommerce presentation.

like this, or this, and even this!!

and today, i had to reminded once again. remember my very pretty extensions? i fucking finger itchy and went to pull half of it out. i must have looked like i had lice in my head to be pulling and tuggy at it the way i did.

as a kid, i never had the unpleasant experience of having chewing gum stuck in my hair. now, at the grand old age of 21, i think i kinda know wat that feels like.

this tiny bunch of hair is $16. i have another $16 attached by gum/glue/wax wateva that thing is, to my hair. i cant wait for it to naturally drop off by itself, which is virtually impossible. especially considering the fact that i completely cant stop tugging at it.

urgh!

bottom line is - DONT GET HAIR EXTENSIONS. yuck. ouch. eeww. aiyo.

anyways, i'm really wishing there were 48 hours a day. because i need more time to hug my darling boyfriend. oh, and i didnt mention darling dear got me this for our first monthsary.

我是世上最幸福的女人!! i have the best best best best best boyfriend. ^^
how many boyfriends will actually call u in the middle of the day (while u're in class, no less) just to ask u where u are and wat u're doing, and then he hangs up after saying he's really busy and just called cuz he wanted to hear ur voice. ^^
aww.. my boyfriend is so sweet!! i love u dear! ^^

i miss ur hugs, i miss ur kisses,

i miss you!!

love the new hair!!

2007-03-05T21:20:00.000+08:00

i dun understand why everytime kes and i take pictures, i'll be in my pigtail hair.

back when su was still working with us,

and when i went on a photo taking spree with everybody.

and then on christmas,

even on her retro birthday,

and then, yesterday,

we were damn bored la, waiting for zhiyong and dear to reach cine. so we, actually its just me la, photo whored in the meantime lor.. ^^

i went with didi to do his extensions earlier.

(he's watching tv, can ignore the expression. and if u cant see, his extension thingy is actually just one pathetic strand, which he hooked to his ear so that it can be seen clearly.)

and then dear came to join us for dinner.

i totally love the blondish colour, even though it makes me look super lian-ish. oh well.. ^^

(stupid eyeliner. smudge till kanasai lor.)

okie.. have to go pick out wat to wear tomoro already. and i still have to convince kes to acc me to shop too. ^^

smell

2007-03-02T11:36:00.000+08:00

i smell like raymond tan now and i like.

(actually i just smell like the asience shampoo la. and its quite smelly, to tell the truth.)

random #1

2007-02-28T23:18:00.000+08:00

at the fattest point in my life, my mother told me i had no need to lose weight.

at the ugliest point in my life, my mother told me i looked pretty.

i was painting my nails just now, my mother came in and she said, 'wa! colour so nice ar?'

-.-

anyways, i speculated that boon lay, where dear stays, is the furthest possible estate from toa payoh.

and i was right.

damn sad one can? that your boyfriend stays so ridiculously far from your house. and he stays so much nearer to your school, and then you stay even nearer to his workplace.

i hate boon lay. i wish i had wings. hell, i wish i could teleport. teleport, not apparate. cuz apparating feels like squeezing through tight rubber bands, according to ron and harry, i think. so yes, i wish i could teleport. i wish i can teleport to boon lay right now. i wish i could teleport and appear on dear right now. i figured appearing on is much more dramatic than appearing next to him. so if i am wishing, i might as well wish for something bigger.

oh. my boyfriend is gaming right now, and he wants me to kiss him.

muacks!

if only i could teleport and appear right on him now. see la!! i should be in hogwarts instead of nus.

which reminds me of this stupid pis (psychological immune system) theory that we learnt in social psych. your pis triggers and optimizes your satisfaction when you make an unchangeable choice. so there, i should stop thinking about how i would have been better off if i had taken econs or english literature instead of this stupid psychology.

i had a good hair day today.

and my boyfriend looks ridiculously cute in my trucker cap.

actually, i just wanted to upload our pictures la. u cant see my good hair day, and neither can you tell ray, my ray looks damn cute in that poor lighting. lol.

i cant stand it, you know. he doesnt just look cute, he is cute. i better stop now before i go into my 'boyfriend is cute' trance and start chanting the line repeatedly. everyone, should, by now, know already that my boyfriend is cute.

oh oh.. something else. guess where?

those picture were taken inside a bus.. 153, if you want to know. like why would they want to spend our bus fares on such lavish furnishings, which will just mold and become real smelly and disgusting real soon. waste my $50+ a month on concession. yucks.

i took the liberty of editting this post since i am so free now. you know, i really knew about the cancellation of my bio psych tutorial. afterall, i read the damn announcement twice. i just happen to forget about it in my moment of excitement for ray to come fetch me from school. i actually had the smarts to tell my fellow tutorial mate, while we 2 confused individuals loitered outside the lab room, 'oh. its cancelled le ma.'

i is stupid. -.-"

oh yes. i am going to edit my wish list and remove bigger boobs from the list soon. (in fact, i should have removed it by the time you read this.) i no no want rasputia (if tts how you spell her name) titis. ewww..

okie, i'm going to go browse skin for babe's new blogspot blog and slack around and read some of my stats notes and stuff while i wait for my very cute boyfriend.

all come to pass

2007-02-27T03:11:00.000+08:00

jiesheng and i broke up many many months ago because of the perpetuated confusion we caused ourselves. his fixation with a past long gone and my vindictive agenda to force him back into my reality were the deciding elements to the grand finale of an ugly resolution.

jiesheng and i broke up because we carried our childish obstinacy one step too far.

the immediate weeks following the break up, all i could ever think of was how to make myself appear happy. how to make him regret losing me. how to make him want me back. looking back, the beginnings with weiming seem only to concur my belief that i had desperately wanted jiesheng to want me back.

i was pathetic. up until i saw the naked truth that has been lying there in my face for the longest time. that everything had to be about him. his logic. his point of view. his theories. him. and when my needs, my wants, my hopes were shelved for the thousandth time to make way for the upholding of his absolute doctrine, i made up my mind that i can never allow myself to be subserved to his dogma.

and last night, i confirmed my decision to turn away from the future which i had at one point, prayed my heart out for. the memories still hold dear, very very dear. afterall, i loved jiesheng more than i ever loved. afterall, it had been 322 days of intense emotions.

and all come to pass with that resolute stance i took and is determined to see through.

i told ray that jiesheng pitched to me the idea of a happiness back with him. ray worries i will run away with that stubborn and vexatious ex boyfriend. and suddenly, i dont know how to reassure him of my feelings for him. somehow, i find it hard to believe. afterall its only been 3 weeks. 3 short weeks. how much ground can we have covered in 3 short weeks?

i miss you darling, i really do. i miss you all the time, even when you're there beside me, which is why i keep turning to look at you.

days have become weeks, weeks are going turn into months, months will disappear into years. i'm not going to run away with anyone. i'm not going to go anywhere, unless i go with you.

there's only one special someone in my life now. there can only be enough room in my heart for one person.

ray, who i have been meeting every day.
ray, who makes every day not feel like every day anymore.
ray, who worries about the increasing mileage and the increasing frequency of his petrol kiosk visits.
ray, who elbows me when we sleep.
ray, whose snores have become my lullaby.
ray, whose messages never fail to make me smile.
ray, with his disgustingly cute yellow boxers, which is too ~~obscene~~ cute to be posted.
ray, with his insanely long arms.
ray, with his super cute new hair.
ray, the irresistibly cute boyfriend.
ray, the dweller in my reverie.
ray, my addiction.
ray, my love.

i'll turn into a yucky mole and attach myself to the most conspicuous part of your face if you even think about leaving me. blehs.

春天散步夏天看海秋天数落叶
一直没有烦恼
一直没有争吵
让每天像糖一样甜

冬天飘雪我是棉被温暖你的夜
一直在你身边
一直爱到永远
你就负责靠着我的肩

ps. why singapore only have sun and rain de? makes all the sweet songs obsolete.

*angry*

ray

2007-02-21T23:35:00.000+08:00

the boyfriend is a gaming siao. in fact, a smoking gaming siao. half a month into the relationship and i can see us quarreling over the number of cigarettes he smokes a day and the amount of time he spends on his WoW or PS2..

this is the second or third time i've been stuck in his house like that.. now u know it really isnt all that awkward when my msn nickname reads 'stuck in a room with 4-5 guys'.. all of whom, gaming siaos who doesnt pay me any attention while i bask in my movies..

but really, other than the fact that ray smokes hell of a lot, and spends more time gaming than all the other activities combined, he really is the cutest, sweetest boyfriend in my whole entourage of ex-es..

he entertains me when i'm bored..

and continues doing so, even in the midst of gaming..

but bizi is hard to please, so he ends up looking like this most of the time.. ^^

he cooks for me in his ~~sexy~~ cute boxers when we wake up in the mornings, without expecting me to wash the dishes.

okie, fine it doesnt look very appealing.. tastes nice though..

my boyfriend is ridiculously cute, especially when he says, and insists i'm cute.. or when he refuses to hug me when i throw tantrums in public.. he's cute when he's driving and then suddenly make funny faces when he realizes i'm staring at him.. and when he sings and then makes up his own lyrics because he cant remember the actual ones.. he's cute when he cracks jokes which are not funny, to which jonathan (his friend) will always laugh.. he's most cute when he pats my nicely tied up hair and messes it up, leading me to have a love-hate relationship with that action.. and also when he makes his friends and his mum play mahjong with me because he knows i want to..

i love ray alot. and everyday, i seem to love him even more than i did the day before. everytime i look at him, it makes me want to love him more. even when i'm angry that he's smoking again.. even when i'm angry because its been 2 hours and he's still gaming when he said he'd go bath.. love makes u blind. makes u overlook some of the ugly side to things. and ray's cuteness makes it easier to overlook these ugliness..

perhaps there will come a day when love is no longer enough for me to overlook these things.. maybe one day he might realize he's really not able to stand my neuroticism.. but that day is most possibly a long way ahead. in the meantime, i should just bask in my saccharine sweetness and not think that much. ray secretly worries i think too much, and sometimes, i kinda think so too. therefore, i need to provide my active geminian imagination with some positive feed lest it invest in too much unhealthy thoughts.

an ex boyfriend once told me that in any relationship, communication is the key to its success.. (sounds very much like something that someone will say.) i've since learned that communication isnt all there is to it, because if it was, i wouldnt have broken up with that boyfriend, or rather, he wouldnt have left with me. with ray, i've come to see that more important than communication is the ability to laugh things off, the ability to move along together, on a same pace, at the same rate. and because he is perpetually clueless half the time, and makes the most inappropriate comments at the weirdest times, i really just cant stop smiling like a goofball when he's around.

my boyfriend makes my day. just thinking about it makes a seemingly bad day feel better. after going through all those failed relationship, i know what the odds are that this is just the initial 'honeymoon period'. i dun need to be told. i want to believe. and in order to do that, all these skepticism and negativity shall be banished to a realm far from the reaches of my imaginary threshold.

in the meantime, i ought to force ray to read, since reading is my one true indulgence, and i shall secretly train myself to at least know how to game.. so. dreading. it.

my first post and the dead grasshopper

2007-02-19T04:13:00.000+08:00

at the dawn of this blog, just as i clicked on 'save template', a grasshopper hopped into my room. (i'm not sure if i should use flew since i'm not sure if grasshoppers actually do fly.)

and by reflex, i aimed didi's bedroom slippers, which are in my possession while he's in malaysia, at the icky green little jumpy monster. it hit. and my room is now filled with this incredibly pungent grassy smell, which i totally cannot stand. yucks!!

for a start, it wasnt in my intention to kill the thing. (i think it is dead now, ray-the boyfriend, just confirmed on msn that grasshopper's 'blood' is super smelly, as do all other insect's.) i merely wanted to scare it so that it leaves my room, little did i expect my hit to be that bloody accurate (pun intended).

so now, i am stuck here, on my bed, without my slippers and i really need to go shit. (i have no idea why wearing slippers into the toilet makes me shit easier.) and oh, the room is still super smelly, and i am half afraid of stepping off the bed because i imagine the grasshopper would somehow manage to push the slipper away from his scrawny little yucky green smelly body and leap at me.

i am paranoid.

i was going to blog about how grueling it is to choose a nice skin among the hundreds and thousands and millions that are available on blogskins. i was going to complain about the hours i spent browsing, editing, and finally deciding against the final product. i was going to complain about how irritating the 'cant save template' problem i've been facing for the past week is actually solved by clicking on one pathetic icon at the bottom of the page. i was going to whine about how i dun really like this final skin.

and i was also going to let kat know how very thankful i am for sending me the html script to password protect this blog, which i was going to acknowledge as the reason for my switch.

but because of that one possibly dead, and unbelievably smelly grasshopper lying under didi's bedroom slipper in the middle of my room, approximately one metre from the bed, i am no longer able to blog about all those things i wanted to blog about. instead, my thoughts have been overwhelmed by the crafty insect.

i took a closer inspection from my bed, and behind the blurry vision of astigmatism and myopia, i think i see the grasshopper's head and the feelers emerging from under didi's bedroom slippers. i almost imagine it to be looking at me with vengeful eyes and sending signals to its horde of smelly grasshopper brothers and sisters to avenge his sudden death.

maybe i should rename my blog 'the grasshopper that died under didi's bedroom slipper on the second day of chinese new year, 2007' to appease its wronged soul so that i will not drown in a sea of angry and smelly grasshoppers.

but i am really too narcissistic to name my blog after one ugly and dead grasshopper, i shall risk the possibility of me dying a peaceful, fragrant, painless death to indulge in my narcissistic pleasure. the blog name remains. (by the way, what's the name of my blog ar?)

damn, i really need to go summon enough courage to hide away the carcass of the grasshopper before yingsi, xueting, kenny and honey, the kaypo extra come over for mahjong.